Body language expert Judi James
Body language and behaviour expert Judi James explains what their sense of humour reveals about your date.
Judi James is one of the UK’s leading body language and behaviour experts who you’ll recognise from Big Brother, Channel 5’s Naked Celebrity and Strictly Come Dancing’s It Takes Two.
“Research shows that 83% of people say that humour impresses them on a first date,” Judi says. “In today’s society humour is seen as proof that a person is ‘normal’ or even trustworthy – but psychologically jokes are a rich form of communication where elements of pseudo attack, aggression and suppressed warrior tendencies often surface.”
Here’s what their joking style says about them.
The Sarcastic Joker
They’re all about power and control – they’re put downs aren’t a full frontal assault but can be every bit as deadly. Sarcastic jokers like to think of themselves as superior to others because the ambiguous nature of their comments causes confusion among their victims. They are not known for being empathetic or trustworthy as they sacrificed the values of trust and empathy on the altar of comedy many years ago.
The Shaggy Dog Joker
The long winded joker enjoys telling jokes that take up to an hour to relate. Everyone knows that no one likes these jokes and part of the humour lies in the groans and glassy eyed stares that accompany them. These people are the ultimate performer because these jokes involve timing, persistence, a complete lack of self-consciousness and an ability to over react. In many ways the comic enjoys the insults and rejection as much as ultimate acceptance. They were probably hugely unpopular at school and seek to recreate this social pattern throughout their lives.
The Sick Humourist
Sick humour relies on the ‘forbidden’ factor, taking a swipe at subjects that would usually create a response of pity or horror. Tragic events often attract jokes of this nature and should be seen as a coping mechanism. People who work in jobs that involve regular exposure to tragedy or horror like the emergency services will often employ sick humour to prevent themselves becoming too emotionally involved. The sick humoruist who doesn’t work in this field likes to shock and challenge other people’s perceptions of him or herself.
The Self-Depreciating Humourist
When someone aims the gags at themselves they are employing a very basic technique of ingratiation. In some cases they are saying what others are thinking before they get a chance to say it themselves. In other cases it is the opposite – people with high levels of confidence often feel comfortable using the odd self-deprecating comment because they know it will sound ironic.
Clowns
These are the Mr Beans of the comedy world and these people are likely to be the nicest and most generous characters because they use a lack of vanity to amuse.
The One-Liner
Brief funny comments used with perfect timing will often be used by someone hoping to lighten mood. This person has a strong defence mechanism but can also be charming and charismatic because their delivery and timing will display confidence and good self-esteem. The jokes keep them at arm’s length from the rest of the pack by creating a sense of original thinking, yet these people will also have a pack-acceptance because their wit makes them respected.
The Double-Entendre Merchant
These people rarely use a strategy or performance for their jokes, instead preferring a seaside postcard sense of humour. Unsophisticated and juvenile, this person lacks cunning, wit or intellect, although like all kids, being naughty can have the capacity to charm.
The Practical Joker
They are the true hunter-killer of the comedy pack with jokes usually aimed at ridiculing the victim. These people select and stalk their prey, plan the joke, organises props and waits to execute it. They are all about the anticipation – watching the victim go about their normal business, unaware they are about to be the butt of a practical joke. They enjoy creating chaos from everyday actions which is a trait they will show through other aspects of their life.
You can learn more about body language and the hidden meaning behind all your choices in The You Code by Judi James and James Moore, available from all good bookshops priced £8.99 and the Random House website.